Bittersweet

iya tau, harusnya aku gak berharap pas kamu nyapa di ym. apalagi pas kamu tiba-tiba ngajak ber-sms-ria.

it’s such a rare thing, really. tentu aja, aku ga nolak. siapa sih yang ga suka diajak ngobrol sama orang yang disuka?

tapi memang harusnya aku gak berharap. karena aku ga pernah ada di hatimu.

Need a very long time for me to admit it. And now i realize you don’t even care ‘bout that.
You never ask why—when i make that fake stupid smile everytime you meet your friend from your world and chat ‘bout things i don’t know at all.
You never ask what makes me so gloomy after accompany you at ‘your meeting’—with girls, sure.
You never look me in the eyes like you do at every other girl—and boys.
You ask me to go buy ice cream together—and when i thought there was just two of us, you ask another girls. You just promised that ice-cream-treat to me.
You know my feeling. Yet you still make fun of me ‘bout go-dating-that-guy or you-like-him-just-admit-it. I want to yell that i do like you so bad in front of public.

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I feel like you want me out from your world. Don’t you?

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Yeah, i’m nobody for you. So what’d you care?

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Now i’m the selfish one. Shit.

Baru sadar di post-post sebelum ini ketika melabil saya mau dia pergi dari hidup saya. Plis, jangan sampe kejadian beneran :(

Tapi dia dengan sengaja membuat irisan tersebut semakin kecil tiap harinya. Apa kamu benar-benar mau pergi dari duniaku?

dia keterlaluan. becandanya nggak lucu.

tapi kenapa
saat jengkel dan ego menyuruh menjauhi ia sementara,
hati kecil berharap ia meminta maaf?

seakan belom tau tabiatnya aja.
mana mungkin dia sepeka itu untuk sadar akan kesalahannya.

dan setelah menyadari dia tetap gak peka,
mulai menyesal menjauhinya.
dia gak menyapa saat berpapasan :(.